Your honor, we never sonsummated this marriage

[adelagia]

A few weeks ago I was complaining about how difficult it is for me to write good kissing scenes. So, naturally, to get myself over this little hurdle, I went and wrote porn instead. Whatiswrongwithme.

Having never written porn before, this misguided endeavour unsurprisingly also proved very difficult (I might have said 'hard' there, but then I'd just be setting myself up for a Michael Scott joke), and I don't know if I'll do it again because I'm pretty sure I've run out of hotness-related words. Plus, I could just barely get over myself going 'TEEHEE' every time I typed anything vaguely sexy. I mean, I'll read fandom smut any chance I get, but writing it myself pretty much just gave the 12 year old in my head free license to titter madly the whole time. UNHELPFUL, emotionally stunted self.

I bow down to those of you who make smuttination seem so effortless and awesome.

Comments

[the-muppet.livejournal.com]

Plus, I could just barely get over myself going 'TEEHEE' every time I typed anything vaguely sexy.

I'm sure I'd be exactly the same - and I still feel a little weird with some of my icons - some I don't even post because I think I've gone too far!

I'm so glad you're writing something right now (and hoping that it's Merlin/Arthur) - I was only thinking of you yesterday and wishing for something new. I seriously need to aquire bucketloads of money just to secure you as my full-time fic writer or something =)

[adelagia.livejournal.com]

It totally is Merlin/Arthur. Hooray! :D

Hiring me would be very unwise, though; historically speaking, I'm an extremely slow writer, plus I think my muse just went on extended holiday. Ack.

[the-muppet.livejournal.com]

Hooray indeed - looking forward to it =)

[dragonsangel68.livejournal.com]

gave the 12 year old in my head free license to titter madly the whole time

*titters*

I can honestly say, only one scene has ever written itself effortlessly (and that was only supposed to be a kiss *smacks Draco*).

[adelagia.livejournal.com]

Heheh, your icon.

Very difficult keeping those sorts of scenes fresh, you know? Oh, Draco, so unreasonable sometimes.

[dragonsangel68.livejournal.com]

It is difficult and there are only so many words you can use to keep it fresh.

Draco just can't keep his pants on when Ginny's tempting him *shakes head*

[adelagia.livejournal.com]

*cackles madly* I just had this mental image of them just, like, talking about the weather, and Draco drops his trousers and is like, "Yes, this is what is happening."

[dragonsangel68.livejournal.com]

He's arrogant enough to attempt to get away with that *sniggers*

[xalexandriam.livejournal.com]

Don't worry, I can't write smut to save my life either. I was planning on it for one of my WIPs, but then I was like, "Eh, I can't really write it and I don't want it to sound like bad fanfiction." But the more that I thought about it, the more that I realized that it didn't go with the timeline that I had for the story.

[adelagia.livejournal.com]

Yes, that is the biggest fear, that it would be dull or gross or just plain bad. Thankfully, sometimes fic just doesn't call for it!

[jandjsalmon.livejournal.com]

*cackles madly*


I actually found a dictionary to give me different terms to keep from repeating all the time... Here is the one for *cough* nipples - not that you'd need that one for a Merlin/Arthur smut (HEE!!!) but I think there are various other words if you push previous and next at the bottom.


But yes - it was SUPER hard at first. It still is sometimes and (since I write with other people) I can't actually smut with some people because it would make me uncomfortable. I've tried smutting myself and I have to really push myself. But then I worry - is this TOO graphic? It's probably not but I'm worried just the same, you know?

[adelagia.livejournal.com]

'Nipples' (TEEHEE) is one of those words I absolutely cannot type seriously, which is probably why my first foray into smut is in slash rather than het. Also, that link makes me giggle uncontrollably because I am an immature child.

You ladies write great smut, though, so obviously something is working!

(Want to read this fic for me?)

[jandjsalmon.livejournal.com]

OF COURSE I will. If you still need me anyway. :D

[idreamofdraco.livejournal.com]

I clicked that link out of curiosity, and OMG the LOLZ. Just can't do it. :D

[persephone33.livejournal.com]

*giggles*

Oh, my gosh, I know where you're coming from.

My very first smut scene ever was a Pansy/Cormac at the last rpg I wrote, and I had to do it in mini flashbacks, because I couldn't do it in narrative. Celeste, as always, humored me.

Here it is, if you're so inclined.
http://magical-whimsy.livejournal.com/2559.html#cutid1

[adelagia.livejournal.com]

Ooh, Pansy/Cormac, there's a blast from the past. :) Good way to ease yourself in, though (and it worked quite well for the scene)! I've always wondered how you ladies manage to write smut in tandem.

[persephone33.livejournal.com]

With a lot of blushing, at first.

But now just... "Tag? Okay, where did he leave off? Okay, here goes."

It's all very perfunctory. But yeah, I still get embarrassed sometimes. And i really prefer more insinuation than elaboration. I like VANILLA smut, if that makes any sense. :)

[seegrim.livejournal.com]

I hear you! The first time I ever typed the word 'breast' I think I giggled for ten minutes...

[persephone33.livejournal.com]

It was more like twenty.

[seegrim.livejournal.com]

*giggles*

Yeah, you're probably right.

[adelagia.livejournal.com]

Heee. It's good to know I'm not the only one with this affliction. The first time I wrote 'breasts' my brain was like, TOO MUCH! I left it in anyway, but it still makes me a bit blushy.

[goeungurl.livejournal.com]

Damn it. Accidentally deleted my comment. I'm sure it's sitting there in your email though. It said something about how you aren't alone and how it's still hard for me and how I'm proud of you for clearing this hurdle.

And bonus points for the Michael Scott reference. :)

[adelagia.livejournal.com]

And what a lovely comment it was! :) I don't know about clearing the hurdle though; more like tripped over it and hoped nobody noticed.

Once you're inured to the Michael Scott way of thinking, there are just so many TWSS opportunities that seem to pop up everywhere. :)

[phoenixacid.livejournal.com]

NIPPLES.

Sorry I just want to hear you giggle. ;)

[adelagia.livejournal.com]

LOL! YOU ARE AWFUL. ♥

[phoenixacid.livejournal.com]

I'm totally affronted with your comment. ;D

I'm AWFULly adorable. ADMIT IT. LOL.

[adelagia.livejournal.com]

Mm.. What's in it for me?

[phoenixacid.livejournal.com]

You get to giggle at my icon?

[adelagia.livejournal.com]

I ACCEPT. You are made of awesome. :)

(Don't look so shocked, Merlin, you know you want to.)

[phoenixacid.livejournal.com]

YES, BECAUSE ARTHUR'S TOO SEXY.

*Merlin finally learns how to walk on his knees*

[adelagia.livejournal.com]

Took him long enough. :)

[phoenixacid.livejournal.com]

Ahahah. Merlin is so good, Arthur proposed!

[adelagia.livejournal.com]

Which I'm sure Uther is well pleased about. (Keep one eye open at night, Merlin.)